Birthday in Heaven
Jerry Alt July 30th, 2010
Our sister, Sandi, passed away in May after fighting against cancer. This past Tuesday was her birthday, and she would have been 42. We miss her terribly, but hold our memories close. For those who did not get a chance to come to the service, I am including a host of photos as well as Dave’s moving eulogy. . . which is reprinted below.
Those of you who remember back to 1968 will recall that it was a year filled with turmoil, unrest, and tragic events that shaped many of our lives. The war in Vietnam had escalated with the TET offensive. There were riots in many of our cities. That spring the country lost Dr. King and Bobby Kennedy in senseless attacks. Then on a hot day in June while I was playing in a sprinkler in the front yard with my sisters Teresa and Linda, there was a train crash at the crossing just down our road. After a while my mom sent me down there on my bike to see what had happened and when I returned I had to tell her that one of our neighbors sons had died in that accident. As I watched tears stream down the face of my very pregnant mother, I realized that though one life had just ended that another was about to begin.
The next month, Sandi was born. … a few months later the Tiger’s won the World Series. Turned out to be a pretty darn good year after all. She was born just two days after Teresa’s 8th birthday . Teresa was sure that the new baby was her present though Mother didn’t go for her name ideas of “ Ocean “ or “ Priscilla “ or “Penelope” from a book she was reading then. When I first heard her name I told Mom that it seemed an odd name for a boy. I was fully expecting a baby brother after the last two had been girls but said that another girl was okay as long as we could teach her to play baseball!
Many of Sandi’s childhood activities led to lifelong interests. Music was one of those. Maria recalls a time that they were dancing up such a storm to some music that the smoke detector went off and they were sure they had generated enough heat to make that happen. Turns out it was time to change the batteries ! I remember many times of sitting at the piano and we would make up silly songs together. To this day we could still remember the titles of those songs. Sandi went on become an accomplished piano player and also performed in the marching band, choir, and many musical productions in school. She even took requests such as playing piano at our neighbor Bobs’ home while she was there house cleaning and singing at my wedding along with Teresa.
Lots of time was spent in the garden when Sandi was growing up. Many a time I’ve heard her telling Elli about all the corn and pumpkins we grew, snapping beans until her fingers hurt, and picking so many berries that her hands would be stained red. Throughout her life, wherever she lived, Sandi always had a vegetable garden and would constantly be planting and tending to her flower beds.
Another thing was her love of animals. We grew up with a collection of cats and dogs and rabbits and she enjoyed them all. Then as an adult she once had the thrill of getting to swim with the dolphins. We’ve shared laughs through the years about the time I paid her a nickel to eat a small dog biscuit. She says now that she should have held out for at least a quarter! Maria recalls that they were once playing with some gerbils that Jerry had brought home.Years later Sandi fessed up to instigating the “tail swinging“ incident that led to “Stubby“ getting his name. Very recently, Sandi was recounting to me the ages of her three cats and how they had been with her through all the ups and downs of this last decade with her.
Sandi was a giving and caring person. She lived with Jerry’s family when their three children were young to help with their care. More recently of course her focus was on raising her own two daughters and she was a great mom to them. She put her all into making sure they were always fed nutritional meals and thus has two girls who really enjoy all kinds of fruits and vegetables. Sandi was very pleased that they both actually like broccoli and asparagus. She worked with them a lot on their early educational skills to have them ahead of the curve and more than well prepared as they enter school. Throughout her illness, she was never one to feel sorry for herself but rather put her focus on getting well so that she could care for and raise her children. She would often tell me that it was the love and support that she always received from our mother and dad, no matter what situation or difficulties she was going through, that was her guide to how she wanted to raise her daughters and care for her own family.
Perhaps it was the result of being born in that tumultuous year that gave Sandi her feisty nature and fighting spirit. There were a lot of highs and lows in her life. She struggled mightily at the loss of her husband Jim but pulled herself and Elli through that time and went on to rebuild a life with Steve and then brought Audrey into the world. She managed to keep her sense of humor through difficult times as evidenced by some comments made just last week. One day, upon learning the hospital kitchen had no noodles or pasta, she said “ Well, you certainly don’t have a very well stocked pantry “. Then, shortly after her wedding she commented to the nurses, “See, who said you can’t get married on a Tuesday”. She had her share of fights and squabbles especially with other sisters, not just as kids but into adulthood. I guess with four girls growing up in close proximity that’s bound to happen. Sandi always told me that whoever she was quarreling with, even if they weren’t speaking to each other right then, that she loved and missed them and hoped they would find a way to resolve their disputes. Usually with some time or sharing of some event, things would get smoothed out. I witnessed a lot of healing just last week when Linda was honored by Sandi’s request to be her “maid of honor” at her wedding.
I had the distinct honor of living with Sandi and her family during this last six months of her life. She had come to live with my family one summer during a very difficult time and when problems arose in my life, she insisted that I pack and come to her home. Knowing that I couldn’t win an argument with her, I showed up! We had always been close but our bond grew even stronger as we had many long talks about everything from her illness to my problems to what kind of plants she wanted to put in next. We shared laughs about things the girls would do and say, or maybe just enjoyed sitting together and throwing a ball for the dogs. It is a time that I will always cherish.
I recently noticed an inspirational type book on her nightstand that Sandi had been reading and the bookmark ribbon was on a page that had the following anonymous quote…” Faith doesn’t get you around your problems…it takes you through them.” Sandi used her faith and her natural fighting instinct to give her strength to battle this disease with her girls being her strong motivation to continue the fight. I don’t feel it is a battle she lost…I think God stepped in and said “ Good fight…time for some rest “. While we grieve because she was taken too soon and so young and we will miss her tremendously, we can draw comfort in that Sandi lives on in each one of us because of the Love… and the Laughs… and the Life.. that she shared with us.
Sandi was a loving daughter, aunt, and niece… A terrific sister and friend and a wonderful wife. Above all, she was a great mom to her girls. Sandi…we love you…always will.
Goodbye just for a while, Sis….see you soon.
